I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
