he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
