you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i think my cat just said my name.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Shame - the story of my life.
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