i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
