Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
