THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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