u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
