i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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