At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
