I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
