I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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