Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
