i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
