Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
