There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I could fuck to npr.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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