just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
