What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
