I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
