Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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