you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just invented taco cereal.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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