my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
