Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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