Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
