Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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