so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize