You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
