he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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