don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think your dad took our porno
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
