So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
