I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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