how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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