Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
