3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
