Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
