My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
