Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
