i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
