The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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