Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
