And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
