Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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