i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
