he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
