Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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