...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize