; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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