These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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