Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
