Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
