Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
