mondays should just be called national damage control day
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She's the barista slut.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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