I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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