Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
