This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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