Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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