I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
