a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
