You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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