I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize