btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize