I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize