that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
