"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
