Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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