Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize