if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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