why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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