Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Randomize
